Loss of Innocence
by Kyoko Decendant of Aura
Summary: (Ch. 1 up) Jak reflects on Erol and his darker half and their connection to him. And eachother. better than it sounds, I promise! JakxErol, JakxDark Jak, and ErolxDark Jak if you wanna think that way.
1. The Darkness Inside of Me

Loss of Innocence

Rating; PG-13

Warnings; Yaoi, but not the way the title implies. Contains JakxErol, JakxDark Jak, and Dark JakxErol if you want to think of it that way.

Torture.

That's all I felt, day after day, in that fortress of Hell. I had been locked up here for two years with only a sliver of hope. Hope that didn't help what I felt inside.

The loneliness, the hatred, the fear. . .

I hated it. And I hated those two voices. The voices of the ones who had done this to me, that had forced this constant pain upon me. The two voices that haunted me in my dreams.

But they're not dreams anymore, are they? Dreams were lost for me. The only thing that existed were impossible fantasies and nightmares. Nightmares that consumed my thoughts, my mind, my sanity. The eyes. . . always on me. Those three pairs of eyes. . . the eyes of my torturers.

You say I'm mistaken?

You say I have two torturers?

You're wrong. . . I have three.

The two who caused all this, I learned their names after a while. It was hard _not _to remember them after all they had done to me.

"Baron" Praxis. The notorious ruler of the glorious Haven City, as they called him. I could always tell when he was there, watching me writher in pain. He would yell at me, hit me, and laugh when they were forcing Eco into me, into my blood.

Commander Erol, Praxis' right-hand man. He was always there. He was the one who pulled the lever, who messed with the controls. He was the one responsible for ruining my life. When the Baron was there, Erol would stand by, following orders like a member of the Krimson Guard should. But when he was in control of my torture, only me and that psychopath bitch in the room, he would talk to me.

He would, before the torture, before that needle punctured my chest, stroke my face softly, in almost a loving way. I hated it at first, but then I began to not mind as much. Any touch other than one meant to cause pain felt welcome, even his. Through his leather gloves, I could still feel his ice-cold hands. It sent chills down my spine. Then, he would lean over and whisper in my ear. . .

"Don't worry. It'll all be over soon."

I don't know if those words were meant to comfort me or cause fear, but I heard them ever time he came.

Now, you're probably wondering who the third torturer was.

It was me.

Or rather, what was inside of me.

After about a month or so of experimenting, I began talking to myself, in my thoughts. I thought it was just my mind thinking of the worst, but then it decided to show it's self to me.

I was thinking about if I'd ever escape that night. . . about everyone back in Sandover, and about what happened to Samos, Keira, and Daxter. I missed them all. . .

-_They don't care about you_-

=_What do you mean?=_

_-They haven't come for you, have they? They haven't tried to rescue you. They've left you here.-_

_=They haven't forgotten me! They'll come! I know it!=_

_-Whatever you say, boku no hikari.-_

Tears started to swell up in my eyes. Maybe they weren't coming! Maybe they've forgotten all about me. . . The tears started to drop from my eyes, slowly, down my face.

Then I felt a hand like ice on my face, wiping away my tears. The hand. . . pale. Almost white. Like snow. Long, sharp, black nails, nearly scraped across my face, looking sharp enough to easily cut through skin. Straps of fabric wound around the hand to about half-way up the being's arm. Just like. . .

Mine.

I looked up.

And I saw myself, staring back at me.

No! It wasn't me! It was someone else! Some monster!

The hand, still resting on my face, led up to a body. His clothes were the same as mine, his face shape, his hair length, but there were many things different.

His face was the same color as is hands, so pale it looked like snow. His long hair, which I'm guessing was the same length as mine, fell somewhat over his face as he looked down at me. What he was looking at me with scared me the most. It's eyes were pitch-black. They made you think you were falling into an infinite abyss of no return. And those eyes were looking right into mine.

_-What's wrong, itooshi?-_

_=D-d-don't call me that. . .=_

_-Why? No one else loves you. No one, except me, that is.-_

_­_His tone was dark and menacing, almost velvety, and he spoke no louder than a whisper.

And it scared me to death.

_=Th-that's a lie! There are people who love me!=_

_-Who?-_

_=Keira! A-a-and Samos! He's like my father, almost! And Daxter cares about me too!=_

_-And yet they haven't come for you, Itooshi.- _

_=They will!=_

_-So naïve. . .- it chuckled. _

Then it leaned down and kissed me.

To be continued. . .

Ok, this is the first fanfic I've written in a while. I WILL finish this to the end, though! I will!!!

Oh, and another note, please don't ask me how Dark Jak (who I'll just call Dark in this fic) knows Japanese. I can't explain how! He just does! Maybe Jak watches a lot of anime or something and Dark got it from him! Who knows.

And please review! I haven't gotten more that 4 reviews on one story yet, and I'm really hoping someone'll like this fic.


	2. My Haven is my Nightmare

Loss of Innocence

Rating; PG-13

Warnings; Yaoi, but not the way the title implies. Contains JakxErol, JakxDark Jak, and Dark JakxErol if you want to think of it that way.

A/N; OMG! I'm so sorry for taking such a long time! I've had school and I've been sick and out of inspiration. Ok, that's a pathetic excuse. Last night I decided to just sit down and type it all out, no matter what distractions got in my way. I was up until 2 AM revising it... So there! All for you!

Oh, and for the Japanese;

Boku no hikari my little light (at least I think. I'm not fluent with Japanese yet.)

Itooshi beloved, love, ect... (Oh, the things you learn from DNAngel fics... And every time I type "Dark", I think of the purple-haired bishonen, not the silver-haired one.)

Abababababababababababababa (my seporator thingy... none of the other buttons will work!)

_-So naïve. . .-_ it chuckled

Then it leaned down and kissed me.

Just a soft, loving kiss on the forehead. And I nearly screamed. I hated his touch, the touch that burned my skin, like fire, almost. Tears started to once again roll down my face as the cell door slid open with a faint hissing noise.

There stood Erol, accompanied by two other guards. I never thought I would be so relived to see the commander because whenever he came, it meant more pain. I would willingly take the pain over this monster, this. . . _thing. _

The three of them walked into my cell, taking no notice of Dark. Erol walked right through the darkness in front of me, looking me in the eyes. His yellow-brown eyes comforted me, as if they were trying to tell me that everything was going to be alright, even though nothing was wrong in his eyes, though his smirk said differently. He was here to drag me to that retched machine that seemed like a safe haven compared to staying here.

"Leave the boy to me" he snapped at the guards, his eyes never leaving mine. "I'll bring him to the experimentation room on my own." The two looked at each other, shrugged, and walked out. More time for them to finish their other duties so they could spend their time of that night at a bar somewhere, completely forgetting about setting a good example for the citizens.

I glanced over at Dark only to find that he had disappeared, perhaps back inside my mind. Not that he would leave me to my own thoughts there, but it was better than having to see him.

Erol grabbed my arm roughly, dragging me out of my home for the past two years. He had a fast pace, and I struggled to keep up. Even though I had grown in the time I had been here, he was still stronger, taller, and had a worse attitude than me, not that we were trying to act like jerks all the time. It just seems to happen when you've been locked up for such a long time. I constantly shoved the guards when I had the strength to try and escape, but they had always kept a firm hold on me.

About half way down the hallway, Erol slowed his pace to a slow walk, and then stopped. I looked up at him, and when I did, I found myself pinned between him and the wall, his hands resting against the cold metal on either side of me.

I kept thinking to myself 'Wha? What's happening? Why's he doing this?' as his face drew closer, his eyes still boring into mine. When his face was merely an inch from mine, that grin still plastered on his face, a smug, Cheshire Cat grin, he whispered to me.

"I promise it will all be over soon. . . my love."

His lips brushed over mine, almost teasingly, as I jerked my head to the side, wanting to put as much distance as possible between me and the one who, just moments before, had been my savior.

His reaction to my movement was a slap across the face. "That will teach you to contradict me." He whispered in my ear, his tone menacing. The grin had disappeared from his face, leaving a vile snarl in its wake.

Taking hold of my wrist again, he dragged me to the experimentation room at an alarmingly fast pace, as if he was looking forward to seeing me suffer.

I was thrown down on the chair as the clamps fastened around my wrists and ankles. There was no comforting touch to my face this time, no whisper in my ear assuring me that my suffering won't last for long. Just pain.

The needle punctured my chest as I did the only thing I could do then. I screamed.

(Here's a scene change. I'll skip the "abababa" thing this time)

The suffering was over. The pain was gone. But I felt energy surging through my body. The same fiery, burning energy that I felt from Dark. I heard talking, but I was too tired to listen and too tired to care.

I felt a hand grab my shoulder, and I opened my eyes, only for long enough to see those yellow-brown eyes I now hated, and I came to my senses enough to hear what was being whispered in my ear.

"I'll be back later."

My eyes closed again as the cold hand left my shoulder. I didn't want to think about what he meant. . .

I heard some mumbling coming from the side of me, the voice sounding oddly familiar. A small amount of weight landed on my stomach as the voice jumped on top of me. My eyes fluttered back open, only to see an orange blob standing on my chest. I closed them again, thinking I was just imaging things.

"Say something! Just this once!"

You want me to say something? I'll say something. I'll say something about the one who trapped me here, who gave me this presence in my mind, who ruined my life.

"I'm gonna kill Praxis!" I yell out, my voice sounding deep and rough. Oddly enough, I've never heard my own voice. It sounded so. . . alien to me. Then I heard _him_ again.

­ -_It seems I have a rival, then. That Erol. . . He got too close to you, my love. Let me take over, itooshi. I can kill him for you. Let me have your body. I can even kill that horrid, so-called 'friend' that left you here for two years. How about I test out our powers on him?-_

_Daxter? That's Daxter? No! I won't let you kill him! He came to save me, like I told you he would!_

_-He came too late, my love. . . My guess is that guilt got to him. He doesn't really care about you, nor do any of your other friends. That's why. . .-_

Jak felt a pain in his heart, and then his entire body seemed to burn in an ice-cold flame as he felt his mind slip away.

_-. . . I must kill him.-_

_(scene change. . . kinda. This is the end of the chapter. Isn't this where I put "To Be Continued?")_

And we have a cliff-hanger! Again! Don't worry, I will update sooner next time. Thanks to everyone who reviewed the first chapter! I hope you like this one as much as the last! And as for the Dark JakxErol part, that won't be for a few more chapters, so wait patiently!


	3. bloodied meeting

A/N; Sorry it took so long, peoples. . . My life has been full of issues, both offline and online. I've had the first draft of this written up for a while in my "Yaoi Notebook of Doom" as some call it, but every time I type it up, it gets deleted. Hopefully this won't continue for long. I've also decided to turn this into a several-part series which will be written over winter break, starting in 3 days. 

Warnings- Yaoi, and an increasing amount of it. On with the fic!

- - - - -

-. . . I must kill him-

I felt dark eco on my skin, its white-hot iciness spreading over my body as the darkness took over me, dragging me into the depths of my mind. I couldn't warn Daxter, so I just fell as the darkness consumed my, filling my lungs like breathable water.The assumed ground I landed on supported the weight of me; on my knees, in a cross between a coughing fit and a waterfall of helpless tears; and the other me, standing in front of me with almost a sad look in his eyes that blended with the abyss around us.

-Does this betrayer- he spat the word out like it was a lethal poison - . . . really mean this much to you-

Yes. . . He does. . . He came for me like I said he would! -Then I shall spare this traitor . . . for now. He might just prove useful in the future. But don't expect me to be so forgiving with you dear Commander.- His hand found my chin again as he forced me to look at him, at his empty yet strangely lust-filled eyes. -Just remember that you are mine.-

I started falling without falling, the pain leaving my body as the darkness gave way to a light that swallowed me, returning me to my feet, which were strangely cold on the metal I stood on, as I tried to keep my balance. "Daxter?" I asked the room, as if it might give me the answer to were the ottsel might be.

"Jeez! Remind me not to piss you off!"Daxter was here, all right. He hadn't changed a bit, either. The ottsel jumped onto my shoulder as his nails dug into my skin that had become so soft over the last two years, and was easily torn. I winced in discomfort as Daxter's weight rested where I used to have amour.

It was time to leave here, and I sure as hell wasn't going to miss it.

- - - - - Daxter was here, all right. He hadn't changed a bit, either. The ottsel jumped onto my shoulder as his nails dug into my skin that had become so soft over the last two years, and was easily torn. I winced in discomfort as Daxter's weight rested where I used to have amour.

It was time to leave here, and I sure as hell wasn't going to miss it.

- - - - - This soft bed is luxurious compared to what I had to sleep on in prison. I had found a place to stay the night, and it was better than that hell-hole I had come from.Daxter was curled up at me feet, the way he always did after the "incident" in Sandover.Everything the other me had said kept replaying in my head, as well as the events of the day. My first kisses . . . and I had hated them. Or had I? Had that been the reason my other had referred to Erol as "my dear Commander"? I hated him! I knew it! How could I love a man who, other than being considerably older than me, had pinned me against a wall, kissed me, and then slapped my face? But then again, hadn't I been comforted by his caressing my face and the soft tickle of his breath on my cheek and his promises of safety? Hadn't they been my light at the end of the tunnel?

P.O.V. Change - Dark Jak

It's about time Jak fell asleep. I need to get out of the prison of his mind. I climb out of bed, careful not to disturb the traitor at the foot of the mattress. Slipping Jak's new tunic over my muscle shirt as my skin changes from his light tan to my deathly pale, Dark Eco criss-crossing in unnamed patterns across the new flesh, I glanced into the cracked mirror at my eyes, no longer Jak's innocent blue, and my hair, now as snow-white as my skin."It's time I had a chat with the Commander" I said, walking out the door into the cold air.

- - - - -

Ah, I do so love the sound of screams, and there are plenty of them tonight. I figured an act of genocide would get the Commander's attention."Oh, Commander!" I yelled out for the fifth time that night as my hand cut through the stomach of a guard who had thought he could find a way to hit me at close range. "I would like I chat with you!" I yelled out through the night, slicing my clawed hand through another guard. A single shot echoed through the blood-covered streets clearly above the others as a dull pain lodged itself in my left shoulder, just missing my heart. I glanced in the direction of the shot and instantly recognized the fiery mane behind the silver helmet with bloodied eyes- the commander had come at last.

A/N; Next chapter, Dark JakxErol! Hope you like the yaoi-less chapter! The next one will be longer, I promise!


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